Yes I had a pet duck

I was given a pet duckling when I was a little kid (my second grade teacher gave kids eggs in incubators or ducklings to raise as a class project.) 

Hey, it was suburban Ohio in the seventies... not many rules and even less supervision 

The kids who had permission to participate in project quack were given the little fuzzy hatchlings in nothing more than a brown paper lunch bag to take home (I certainly can’t imagine this happening today!) The ducks came with a bag of duck food (some sort of grain meal if I recall correctly)and a sheet of instructions.

 We bought our duck food from the teacher. After a few weeks I think my parents had enough of the quacking and occasional duckling oops surprise that I wouldn’t remember to clean up (I was only seven after all!j so they became less and less than enthusiastic about my new little buddy. They joked that the teacher was  making a huge profit on the food, (a joke that fell flat in my mind, as I knew my teacher to be a kind woman.)

We eventually got a little hutch like cage made for the duckling when it got older but for the first few weeks it lived in a cardboard box in my room. 

I was always happiest around animals, so I played with my duckling every day. We took walks around the yard as the duckling (I named it Dusty) imprinted on me like I was it’s mother...and it followed me everywhere.

There were several kids in my suburban neighborhood who had ducklings thanks to this teacher, and we would get together to swim them in kiddie pools/feed them worms etc. 

I remember being very proud of the fact that I was a girl that had no qualms with picking up worms and feeding them to my duckling...I think it was even more exciting when I figured out how much it freaked my mother out to see her littlest daughter happily searching for creepy crawlies in the garden. I guess you could say I was a proud tomboy. 

I only had Dusty for a few months, because we ended up moving many hours away- the teacher took it back to live on her little farm with her big flock. It was ages ago, and seems like a dream, but that was one odd facet of my Midwestern childhood. (Kettering Ohio)

Why I sell my work myself and not through galleries at this time

I thought I’d take a moment to answer a common question:
Where do I currently sell my work?

Find pieces like these Pandemic Dr brooches and pendants at my Etsy shop
http://cosmosmoon.etsy.com

I sell exclusively in person (at local shows in Tucson Arizona or my open studio events) or at Cosmo’s Moon Jewelry, on Etsy. I have been an independent working art jewelry designer and metalsmith since 1986, and this shop, Cosmo’s Moon, was established on Etsy in 2008.

My work was for years was sold in fine craft Galleries and high end boutiques. However, for a number of reasons, I made a decision years ago to become an exclusively independent artist, and sell my work online or in my booth at various art shows in my local area. This essentially takes the middle man out of the equation, and helps me keep my prices reasonable for people who want high quality original handmade artisan jewelry, without the gallery mark up. Also, this gives you the ability to communicate with the artist directly!

Want to know more about my Etsy shop? Click here to go there immediately  and scroll down to see my policies etc. Take a moment and  read my clear sales/custom order/ return/shipping etc policies and be sure to check out the comments in the overwhelmingly positive feedback that my customers have been leaving me since I opened my Etsy gallery in 2008.

If you still have questions about my work or my shop policies or even the origins of the shop name, please feel free to ask! I typically respond within 24 hours, and I try my best to be thorough and complete with my answers.
Thanks for your interest in my work!
Maureen BZ
AKA “Cosmo’s Moon Jewelry”

Poem about my experience with Chronic Pain

Sharing something I wrote a few years ago to express my experience with chronic pain
——-*

Description a failed prescription
A long ass poem about
Living with chronic pain
By: Maureen BZ
October 2016.

MBZ 2020

~
Hello...
I'm not glaring at you
Or staring . I'm just
Trying
To hold it together
And not crumble or shout.
Not always successful

But there's a reason
For this epic case
Of
Resting
Bitch
Face

You can't really see
I carry evil in me

And it's not a Goth phase.

(I had that LONG ago)

I'm
Not a witch
But Absolutely a Bitch...because
I live with
Ever present
Every day
Every moment

Chronic pain

how does it feel?
to be in
constant
Intractable
searing pain?

These days?
With the opioid witch hunt?

It's like ....
having someone constantly stabbing you with an electrified glass needleblade
while shrieking at a rancid pitch,

all the while

being pointed at by
lipsticksmear judgy- judges
(who don't know their fingertips from their kneecaps)
And in the center of this,
holding the KNOWLEDGE
Deep down in your pelvic floor

That one of these days
With no foreshadow
 (With much foreboding)

Those shitty chemicals that
Keep you from writhing
In agony (not ecstasy)

Could most certainly become
INSTANTLY FORBIDDEN
And your now habituated cells would screech
and howl
whilst hurling ITS
Angry CLAWS
Towards your shoulder

(at least That's
what you imagine...
On a good day...
When you can still
make your thoughts
like magic school bus cartoons
In your fog addled head)

And you stick THAT upon
The always already already there
Little
screaming
 needleblade stabbing electrified cunt that never
shuts the floop up...
Sitting on your shoulder
Stabbing and screeching
Screeching and stabbing

All night long raaaaaaaah
Stab stab stab
All day long rheeeeeeee
Stab stab stab
During Breakfast Lunch Dinner
Snacks
Brunch...
Stab stab stab

And the hissing!
Oh the hissing.

With friends family and strangers
Just trying to help
Truly, they try. I get it, it's hard watching suffering.
And honestly I'm grateful for
The support but if I have to
Explain
And list all of the things I've already tried
Again....
I may go stark maving rad.

I'm thinking of making postcards explaining what things I've already tried....
Maybe you just need to go to get
Accupuncture?
Pug leese!
That's Baby stuff

Or else it's
A massage
A glass of wine
One of those wonderbras
This new therapy
This old therapy
Aqua aerobics
Tungsten
This book of spells
That type of arnica
CBD
THC
LSD
LMNOP

An IV
of pond algae
A thousand bee stings
A shrink With Wings
Eat only blue things

Some new kind of kick
Smoking grass on a stick
Another blood prick
Did I mention I'm sick?

(Could not resist)
A wedge pillow
A back brace
Yeah that didn't work either

How about:
Some math?
Two dozen needles filled with
5mg glucose In
24 gauge needles puncturing
3.5 mm into my back
making
9 millimeter diameter
Beady glucose pellets
Spattered across my back
or was it three dozen?
Three times a week
Which added up to....
Zero. Niente
But OMFG was ex
Pen
Sive!

You'll feel better when you take
This supplement
When you do
This stretch
When you move into

A new house
(But not too new...
Off gassing, you know.)

New shoes will always help.
New shoes will always help.
New shoes it's my grandfathers ghost, selling me shoes from
The dead?
Ok, that must be my DNA
Cause I've had that tested too.
I already knew
That I am from shoe people
Beside the point

I digress...
It's a coping habit...
I'm talking myself off the ledge
No you don't want to crash
The car into a tree...
Can't imagine being that selfish
Could never hurt my family
My loves
because I'm feeling cowardly toward the pain.
(The tree thing is not an option)

Oh. I try not to claim it-
It's not mine, I don't want it.
It is THE
( muthafukkin) PAIN.

And yeah
I'm Sick
Sick of having episodes
Of panic
Fear that it will be harder than it
Already is
Because I'm not sure
I will be able to handle the pain unmasked.

But...
I feel like I have to face it
Head on.
Say, hello Pain. Howdy do.
I feel like I already know you
I do.
And let's just bet
That fucker pain
Will be an ugly piece of shiz

That I will have to learn to accept
I just hope to hell
It doesn't break me.
~~~~
MBZ


NOTE: this was originally written in 2016, just before I found a shoulder Dr who eventually agreed to do exploratory laparoscopic surgery to be certain that the multiple MRIs, exams and tests Had not missed anything that would cause pain.He was “98% certain “ that he would go into the shoulder and find nothing. THANKFULLY that 2% did the trick... my shoulder in fact was so severely shredded that it wasn’t showing up on anything- but in the end, I had a shredded bicep tendon with complex nerve entrapment. It took the surgeon TEN MINUTES to fix.after I had endured EIGHT YEARS of constant searing pain!
It has been almost three years since I had my shoulder surgery. While I’m still dealing with chronic pain, it has been greatly reduced. About a year and a half ago I even was able to return to the stable and start riding again! ( it’s been a Godsend!)
There is hope. Tomorrow is another start.
Best wishes - Maureen BZ

Eating the ring of fire

Food sensitivity is no joke! Since Saturday night I’ve been recovering from accidentally eating a spicy bite of food (after I explicitly told the waiter that I had an allergy and to not put that spice on my dish).

 Every now and then it happens, I make the mistake of eating something at a pot luck without asking for ingredients, a waiter doesn’t take me seriously and/or the restaurant simply removes the offending food from already cooked meal (which BTW can often be justas bad of a reaction if not worse because you don’t see the spice/offender). 

I  approach the reality that I can no longer trust new restaurants, or worse- potlucks with no recipes attached to the dish...

For me, it’s chili peppers/nightshade sensitivities. I can tell if it’s a problem within one tiny nibble: one bite, and my digestive system swells like a puffer fish and burns like fire. One bite, and it’s pain for a week or more (even with my rescue antihistamines and supplemental enzymes)

I live in Tucson, lauded for having some of the best Mexican restaurants around and I can no longer eat Mexican food at all. 

While I lost an entire week in bed, in pain...(better now with my antihistamines and almost no food for the past few days)I’m reminded of how horrible it can be (thankfully it doesn’t put me in the hospital with anaphylaxis)and how careful I have to be...no matter how delicious it smells. It’s a hard lesson to learn, because it’s something I’ve learned to avoid - so the episodes are infrequent but very painful. I’m writing this down now to further remind myself that politely eating anything that is offered is just not worth the risk

I’m no longer willing to risk losing any more time from a single bite.

Art/Horse finding balance

I must admit, my Art must share my passion. It’s ok. I’ve come to terms with the challenge of balancing passions...I had to.Having chronic health issues has forced me to take a good look at how I spend my time. It’s always been a tug of war between Art and Horses. ( I know I’m not alone in this... many riders are also artistic and vice versa)

I was #horsecrazy from the moment I first knew what a horse was, I cherish my horse time. I think my parents finally bought me my first pony just to have some peace and quiet and not always have me pleading to go to the stable, go on a trail ride. 

Who could resist this face?

In my opinion We needed a horse in our family in the most desperate way!

 I mean, I gave them plenty of opportunities too...( for one, I always “took a nap” on my BD to give them the time to sneak a horse into the yard while I wasn’t looking... etc) 

I had to take a break from riding and horses after having a life threatening medical emergency which almost killed me. Having a near death experience is a powerful thing which really puts life in perspective. You take stock. You know mortality. Taking stock of my life as I recovered, I knew I had to hang up my saddle for a while- I was spending so much time at the stable that I wasn’t able to even THINK about my artwork. 

In the end, my artwork won. I knew I would never have a chance at a horse career- I’m a good rider but not talented enough to be able to make it into a career, plus I didn’t have the funds to start a riding school. Art was another story. I do have “the right stuff” to make a career, and so that’s what I ultimately chose.

So, for 20 years, my art had my “full” attention. But not all of my heart. Something was always missing, and it wasn’t hard to figure out what it was. I had a horse shaped hole in my heart. 

Last November, when I found the new barn I’m riding at the hole started getting filled again. And with each week, I’m regaining my fitness and skills. I always have something to look forward to as well. 

My husband is preparing for the inevitable... and I’m trying to be practical and patient. I’m not sure if I want the responsibility of owning another horse, but a half lease may be in my future...

Just be prepared for more horse posts in the future 



 #horseloverforever #beggingfortreats #horsesofinstagram #sweethorse #hellosweetie #boop #velvetsoft #carrotlover #backinthesaddleagain